The Best Day of the Year!!!

So, today is the day. It's my birthday!!! I haven't posted on my blog in forever, but today is the day of celebration. I am not one to toot my own horn very often, but today all that is going to change.

This last year has been pretty amazing for me. I have had to many great things happen to me and I have deserved them all!!!

I didn't set new year's resolutions this year on the 1st because I am starting them today along with my new year. My last year in my 20's, that's pretty scary. But, I have one more great year left and I'm going to use it.

This year I was able to accomplish several goals of mine and I have become a much better person. Okay, let me share with you some of my journey's this year.

I was called into the Young Women's program last May. I was pretty excited but quickly realized how much work it was and I really struggled with it for a little while. I had many inner struggles. I couldn't find the balance between teaching the gospel to these wonderful girls and helping them get prepared for what life has to offer them, and looking back at my youth and feeling guilty, inadequate, and like a hypocrite when I teach principles that I didn't always follow. I have such wonderful women that I serve with and Jake was there to help me work through my issues. I realized that just because I may have made mistakes and that I wasn't the best example when I was younger, I truly believe in the principles and I know that following the gospel will bring so much more happiness then I was able to experience because of some choices I had made.

I am not perfect but I realized that I did have something to offer these young women. With that said, these girls have taught me WAY more then I was able to teach them. They challenge me to be better everyday. The girls were challenged at the beginning of the year to read The Book of Mormon everyday for the year. It was called the Perfect 10 Challenge. They were to read for at least 10 minutes everyday with only missing 10 days out of the year. So, imagine my embarrassment when I realized that I was probably the only one in the room on Sunday's that 1- wasn't reading my Scriptures everyday, and 2- had not actually ever read the whole book by myself. So, I took the challenge. It took me having to wake up everyday at 5 AM so I had time to myself, but my year was filled with so many blessings because of this sacrifice. I wish I could say I only missed 10 days, but that part of the challenge I failed at. But, I finished reading The Book of Mormon for the first time in my whole life on December 31st, 2009 only missing 21 days between May and December. I had a pocket sized book that I carried with me almost every where I went. It got pretty smelling after so many camping trips, but my family enjoyed sitting around the campfire and reading with me. Katie and Tyson loved the stories and it was so peaceful. I also read many times at the gym and in the car and waiting for appointments. It went on my cruise with me, and in fact, I finished the book while on the treadmill at the gym.

The journey through The Book of Mormon was different then I had expected. I had started 1 Nephi about a million times in my life. I know it pretty well, but I was amazed at what I learned from the rest of the book. When I started reading I just started in 1 Nephi but after I completed it I went back and read all the pages before that. I had no idea there were the testimony's of the witnesses and Joseph Smith's testimony in it. It was so awesome to read. I also learned so much from the description page that explained the different books in The Book of Mormon. I felt so dumb that I didn't even know that the information was in there. What a testimony builder. I took Moroni's challenge and I am so excited to say that I KNOW THAT THE BOOK OF MORMON IS TRUE WITH ALL MY HEART. IT TOOK ME 28 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AND 2 DAYS TO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT, BUT I WILL NEVER HESITATE AGAIN. I KNOW THAT JOSEPH SMITH IS A TRUE PROPHET AND THAT HE RESTORED THE TRUE GOSPEL ON THE EARTH FOR ME!!!!

So besides the amazing testimony I have been gaining this year I also went on an incredible weight loss journey. Actually I am still on it and will be for the rest of my life I'm sure. I have always really struggled with my weight. Both being to thin and obese. I have always struggled with Bulimia and fear that is a battle that will forever be in me. But, as I get older I am able to see that it is just that, a battle, and I can win it. It is mostly just a mental disorder at this point in my life. I have spent the last 8 years of my life pretty overweight. I was married 10 1/2 years ago and only weight 98 lbs. I struggled getting pregnant with Katie and informed by the Dr that I needed to gain weight. As soon as I hit my target weight I was able to get pregnant. I have since then, not been able to loose anything. I just continued to gain and gain and gain. I was then told when trying to get pregnant with Tyson, that I needed to loose some weight. What a horrible feeling that was. I had to idea the amount of weight I had gained and when it was doing to my body.

I struggled the entire time I lived in Italy with my weight. I was so frustrated. I had Tyson and did really good with the pregnancy. I had only gained about 12 lbs. But, after having him I continued to gain again. I was blind to my own problems and love with food. I loved to exercise and I felt so good when I did. I had wonderful friends supporting me and I was still failing. We moved back to the states and I continued to struggle with my weight. Moving to a new area and starting over just made it worse. I eventually stood on the scale and realized that I was in big trouble. I always said, I will never be 150, I'll never be 160, I'll never for 170, then it was real. I weighed 179 lbs on January 1st 2008!!! I WAS NOT GOING TO BE 180!!! I made a resolution to loose weight, again. I started working really hard. I was slowing making progress and then in April 2008 I was told I had to have surgery on my foot again. I was devastated because that was going to set me back again. This would be my 5Th surgery and recovery wasn't going to short with bone graphs and joint fusions. I took it with stride and tried to do my best with eating. But, eating being the only thing to do, I did it well.

Jake deployed shortly after that and I was able to concentrate a little more on me. So once I was out of my cast and boot, nine months later, I was able to start working out again. I exercised and dieted with little success again but at least I wasn't gaining anymore. By the time Jake came home I had dropped about 12 lbs and I was thinking that I was looking good. We went on our 10 year anniversary cruise that summer and had a great family vacation. I felt pretty good about myself, but I should have looked in the mirror a little longer. I was still pretty big!!!

We returned home that summer and I had a good friend approach me about the hcg diet. I just kinda laughed because I had read about it and seen a couple people go on it but nobody really had great success. I was in no way going to be able to restrict myself to a 500 calorie diet. I didn't want to set myself up for failure. Plus, no way could I afford it and didn't want to give myself or go have shots done everyday. It was a crazy fad diet that I had no interest in. I had never actually done a diet of that kind before because I was sure I would fail. Anyway, my friend is a PA and I trusted the information she passed on to me.

She explained to me that there was a homeopathic method that didn't require shots and that she had family that has done it several times and were having great success. I just kind of listened and that night I started doing my own research on the hcg diet. It was very controversial and there was a lot of negative information. But, there were also great success stories. After about 2 weeks of research and talking to Alicia and Jake, I decided I was going to try it. Alicia explained to me that she saw that I was ready for something like that. I was working hard and really trying, but needed something that would help me get the results I needed faster. I planned out my life for the next 26 days and began my journey on the hcg diet at the end of July 2009.

I tried to keep it a secret for awhile because I didn't want to hear what others thought about the diet, nor did I want people to see me fail. This had probably been one of the hardest things I have done. But, I started to see some amazing results. I started getting people asking me what I was doing and I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. I started telling everyone about it. But, this diet was not for everyone. You have to be ready and committed. It wasn't just about putting drops under your tongue three times a day. It was a committed lifestyle change. I struggled through vacations and many many camping trips during the summer and was able to stick with it. I even got special screenings done at the airport when I had a suitcase packed with my body scale, food scale, and several different meals all packaged and ready to eat. Not to mention the small portioned frozen meat I had packed. It was kinda funny, but what had to be done if I was going to stick with it. I couldn't go anywhere without being prepared.

My family really supported me even though it was hard for them. No going out to eat and snacks had to be gone from the house. It was good for all of us. Anyway, I was able to complete the 26 day program and lost 27 lbs!!! I felt amazing and wanted to keep going. I have stuck with the basics of this diet and I still continue to follow it. I am currently doing a maintained cycle because the most important part is to teach your body to maintain a healthy weight. My body has little trust in me so teaching it to trust me and maintain a weight is proving to be much harder then I had anticipated. I really struggled through the holiday's and by body loved all the crap I feed it. It just stored it nicely around my waist. But, I have since been able to drop my holiday weight and continue to my goal.

I had set my goal to be met today, my birthday, but I didn't quite make it. I am content though and see that my body needs more time at a consistent weight before I try and loose anymore. But, I have successfully cut myself in half. In July I was wearing a size 16 pants and yesterday, Jake took my shopping for my birthday and I am wearing a size 8 and a medium shirt. I feel so good about myself and it is so hard for me to say good things about myself, but I have worked so hard for so long and it is finally paying off.

Now, I wouldn't tell anyone that the hcg diet is the answer but for me, it was the little boost that I needed. It was more then the hcg that did it for me though. It was finally deciding that no matte what, it had to be done. It was a full life change. I started getting up at 5 AM so I could exercise, having a morning devotional for my spirit, and set the mood for my day before my family got up. It was changing how I looked at things and recognizing the Lord's hand in my life everyday. Being grateful for my blessings and seeing things in a different light. My life was changing, not just my weight. Every time I passed on a cookie and felt empowered. I didn't tell myself I was on a diet and that I couldn't have that piece of cake, but I didn't want that piece of cake anymore. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this, and with the Lord's help, I did it!!!!

So, the two biggest journey's of the year are out of the way. I also discovered that I love to cook. I love creating meals and desserts, and everything else. I learned to bake bread, make things from scratch and just be able to create meals for my family. I love making people happy with food. Especially when I choose not to eat them. I had so much fun this year just baking and cooking stuff. It kept me busy and I was able to get the feeling of appreciation and accomplishment that I used to get from working outside the home.

I also discovered how much I love to be organized. I love making lists and accomplishing them. I love making plans and carrying them out. I love shopping and using coupons. I love making people happy. But, more importantly, I am learning to find peace in my life and with myself. I don't have to be perfect, but the more I realize that I better my life seems. I wasn't asked to do everything right, but as I try, life becomes easier and things become so much clearer.

So, that brings me to my motto for the year:

"...that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass...." Alma 36:6

I have learned so much this past year and look forward to another great year. Now, I guess I'll set out some goals for the new year.

** Continue with my personal devotional time. I would love to be able to read the Old Testament this year.
** Re-dedicate myself to the Piano. I have really let this talent slip away from me. I love music and want it back in my home.
** Be a 100% Visiting Teacher. I am amazed at the way this program can change lives when it is done with the spirit. Praying for your sisters and for direction from the Lord is so important.
** Be more patient with my children. I realized how much I yell and how easily I get frustrated with my kids. I don't want to be that way and will work hard to change it. So far, 3 days in a wrong without loosing my cool!!!
** Take time out with Jake. Dates are far and few between and with the next year they will get even less. Our relationship needs more time together just reconnecting.
** Attend the temple once a month. I set this goal at the end of last year but living 3 hours from the temple seemed to be a bigger wall then I anticipated. But, Spokane has a temple and I am super excited.
** Finish at least 2 Personal Progress Value Projects. I have been working on my Personal Progress with the Young Women and I want to continue doing so even when I move and I am no longer a leader. I have learned to much and want to earn my medallion again. This time for me, not because my parents said I had to!!!
** Be a better steward of our money. I need more self control and displine when it comes to finances. Savings is my focus this year.
** BE HAPPY WITH ME AND WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT ME AND MY FAMILY!!!

So, I guess that is enough for the year. I am excited to see what 2010 will bring my way!!!

- Lacie Clark -